Love and Respect

Cupcakes for Breakfast: Love and Respect Thyself

I can’t quite put a finger on what I’m feeling right now. It’s pretty funny because I have so many feelings. Sometimes I think I have too many. I think and feel all day long. And wonder why others aren’t feeling as much as I am. But right now I feel happy, comfortable (sometimes you just have to clarify that this isn’t a sad story) …and this is why.

I think what’s been on my mind has a lot to do with love and respect. How you can’t always expect it from others, so it’s important to give it back to yourself.

This tweet from Rebecca Schinsky has stuck with me since I saw it last week: Do men ever feel that they’re making the choice between being liked and being respected, or is that a pleasure reserved for women?

But I don’t want to choose. I want both. And since quite often it doesn’t go that way, I’ve been taking over and just doing it. Love and respect myself. I’ve been doing this my whole life but now it seems even more important. Some may think this is a given, something natural, but it’s something we all don’t do enough. It doesn’t just happen. It takes time and consideration. Some may think I’m selfish, and to that I say, so what? I’m kind to others, I work hard, and I have the great pleasure of only answering to myself at the end of the day. Why don’t I deserve to be a little selfish? What do you care?

So I cook cheese and carb loaded meals for myself. I watch marathons of The Fosters. I dance around in my bra and underwear to Britney Spears and count it as my work out. I cry just because I need a cry. I stay longer with a friend because seeing her smile makes me smile. I cancel plans so I can go to yoga because I need that time on the mat. I write in my journal instead of here on my blog. I go to bed at 9pm sometimes. I eat cake in bed and indulge in fabulous dinners at pricey restaurants with friends. I’m not waiting around for happiness or love or respect to show up on my doorstep. These are things I create for myself.

You could assume then that I’m hard, closed off, bitter. But I’m not. I’m ridiculously vulnerable. Maybe its counterintuitive but like I said, I have all the feelings. Really, all of them. I leave my heart open even though I know it might get taken advantage of. It’s not that I’m not learning from my experiences, but my optimism kind of just overrides everything else. Sure sometimes it makes reality suck so much more, but I wouldn’t trade my optimism for anything.

Does this even make sense? My point is just that even though it feels we have to, let’s try not to choose one or the other. Love and respect – for yourself and others. Make time for it. Prove that it means something and goes a long way. (Especially in spite of those who don’t understand.) You are worthy. You are awesome. You have all the tools to make life count and find joy. /cheesypeptalk

13 thoughts on “Love and Respect

  1. megan soh

    Girl, say it. I definitely echo those feelings and you’re right – we have to make these choices for ourself because if not, who will? And it just takes one person to not treat you right to make you realize how you should be treated / treating yourself. So glad you posted this. I’m all about that love + respect. And the carbs and cheese.

  2. Whit

    omg Nikki, I love you so much for this post.

    You basically summed up the past two weeks of my life, and I needed it so much. Thanks so much, doll.
    Here’s to carbs and cheese, and remaining optimistic.


  3. marjorie

    Sweetie, YES. That’s all. You said everything so well, and you’re feeling it perfectly and working it out for yourself wonderfully. I go through cycles of the same overloaded feelings, we all do. You are so not alone in this. Keep doing what you’re doing it. You’re awesome.

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  5. Lisa

    How wonderful and refreshing. I love that you are learning this at a very young age. Optimism is great!! Continue to love and respect yourself.
    Choose happiness everyday!!!

  6. Ruthie & Rose

    The most significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. What a wonderful reminder, especially as we welcome the month of love. Thanks Nikki! xo

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  8. mum

    We are the source of ourselves. Not others, or magazine photos, or what your mother says. You are the one who must sustain yourself in the dark days, must put a smile on and make the world sunny. You are the one whose smile reminds another that they are the source of their own sunshine. Love and respect for self and others and this glorious world we live in. Without our inner feeling/thoughts to guide, confuse, celebrate, direct and heal ourselves we are a rudderless ship bobby on an ocean. We are the ones to pick ourselves up and share our self-ness with the world. Keep smiling. Love and respect.

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